the good...i actually didi go for my class bbq...bad?, did not eat a thing, not even fruits...i already packed my dinner, i was prepared to not eat bbq foods, i knew all the food was drenched in butter and i could never bring myself to eat it or if i ate it i would find te following hours/days unbearable and unable to focus on the n0w...i did not feel bad or like my eatinghabits was in the way as i knew i still eating my dinner, this dinner was ok and hence i was able to have fun w the ppl there...
seee.....this is where the problem is, was my actions rite or wrong?...i couldn't eat butterfied food but i knew this was goig to happen and brought dinner...i didi not isolate myself, went n participated...sooooooo, its like i think i am ok w this but like if daddy knew this he would b upset and say i have a prob...wonder wat my psychiatrist would say( though no chance i would tell her...dont trust her enough)
i feel like i have done nothing wrong but still someow made to feel guilty cus i was anorexic...idontknow...my probs r so "fluff", not really real...idont know
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it was only a big deal because YOU made it a big deal. who the hell cares if you ate or not at the BBQ? you said here you didnt want to, it would cause panic for you. so what, you ate dinner. this was a big overthinking thing because you let it be
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