i am shallow...i do judge ppl by their appearance. i put a lot of emphasis on how i look....i have double standards...what i consider reasonable body size for others is not enough for me...i want more than reasonable, i'm so scared to loose my body size...
y?...y do i care so much abt how i look?...because i know ppl do judge others by appearance...i;m don't want ppl to think negative of me?...i want them to be jealous of me?...
my shallowness is holding me back...i compare myself to everyone, i just pissed off myself when i do not look as good as others...i get happy when ppl notice my hardwk("yr arms r so muscular, nice!")-isthisbadisthisbad?(most ppl will be happy too?)
i just wish i was not so shallow...if i would just stop worring abt how i look..
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Aw, I so have felt this way before. You're not shallow though! Promise. I do think it's worth investigating why you care so much about being a certain size. For me, I had come to see my size as a big part of "what makes me, me." Ever since I was a kid, I've been "the small one." I didn't know how to feel about myself if I didn't have my small size with me. Changing my vision for myself to be something that didn't include a size helped me start to allow myself to give up my desire to be a certain size. Also, I really value maturity. When I realized that part of maturing is accepting an adult female body, it made me want to accept an adult, female body more. I didn't want to be an elderly lady who looked like a teeny bopper. To me, that seemed immature. So I guess those are some things that helped me.
ReplyDeleteI totally get the good feelings that come across with certain body comments. And it def. perpetuates the cycle of you feeling like your body is something good about you.. and if you lose it, you're losing a part of you that makes you a worthwhile person. Realize, though, that people who comment about your arms are just making an observation. They're not defining you by your arms - that's just you that's defining you by your arms, you know?
Just my thoughts...
...i think its hard still for me to accept a more feminine body, i get upset when i notice my curves...def. something to work on...
ReplyDelete...do i want to be defined by my body?...(too often i think yes), but NO, i do not, can u imagine, at yr funeral, ppl rmb u as:"oh, i rmb her as the really thin girl/the girl who was obsessed w eating healthy/who eats differently from us"-that is SAD...
You arent shallow at all, people compare themselves to others all the time, its a natural thing to do. The harmful part is when you try to sculpt yourself into something like you think others will like. Focus on the parts of yourself YOU like, not what you think others will.
ReplyDeleteIm sorry I dont have more helpful advice, its something I struggle a bit with to.
Thanks as well for your comment on my blog, I dont have any IP options where I currently live but I am looking for a therapist of some sort to try and get some help.
xox
Laura