dinner just, appointment 2morrow

so dinner just... bad experience w daddy...i just feel terrible...he also said i dont think u have made any improvement, well, i dont get him. my mhw has been met, why does he keep wanting me to gain and gain and gain...

again worried 4 2morrow's weighin...lame worries: sch ends at 9am(8-9)(dont want to go cus sch is like 1 hour away-but cant cus my attendence is pretty bad(never absent, just late enuff to be marked absent-fussy teacher!)and i dont want to be barred fr exams), so i should come home 1st b4 going 4 appointment at 2.30. BUT that means more walking=lower weigh in?...so stay in sch till like 2 den go straight for appointment(but sch has nothing to do, i hate hanging around in sch)...den lunch packed, eaten at sch?but that means after eating i need travel to hospital so weight will be lower, so eat at hospital so food is still in me=higher weight?...

...i am blanking everything out ...avoidingavoidingavoiding...

...am a freaking disappointment burdensome selfcentred crap shit