...when i read older women w anorexia blogs, sometimes it freaks me out a little. its like its so sad that they r consumed by ed. i'm scared to end up like that. that would suck BIG TIME. now that u r young, u think its ok, i will get over it i will fight this blah blah blah...but day to day there is not much improvement. or u recover far enough to function normally, but some lingering traits of ed still held on to...
imagine in yr 30s, 40s, 50s, 60 s... and u look back on yr life, how much time was spend on thinking abt food, exercising, unsociallising, hermitted. cant let this happen cant.
...see, i say i cant let this happen, but how do it?, will i after thinking abt this be able to eat dinner freely?, not measuring my food?, i doubt so, i am 90% certain nothing will change tonight. not bothering and eating would cause too much anxiety which i would thinki would rather avoid than go though w it.
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I am 30 years old. Ed was and is not my main affliction. But does cross in there at times. Yep, I am filled with regret. Trust me. Stop the madness now and start loving and living life.
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